I don’t think any of us finds change easy, especially me. We are only at the end of February and already my life seems to be going in a different direction than I had already planned.
Do you feel the same? Has life taken you into the winds of change and life already starting to look different?
I have always wanted to have a plan, an idea of what I wanted to achieve or how I wanted to have my life organised into how I wanted it and when I wanted it. Whenever I think I have everything figured out, bang, the universe sweeps in and decides that isn’t going to happen, especially the way I want it to.
How does it make you feel when you have no idea what’s going on? Uneasy, unsettled, fearful, confused and often very stressed.
Now the big question here is how to deal with those feelings, do we sit, feel and go with the change that you have no control of or do we fight, numb or try to control what’s happening to make ourselves feel better.
Using Mindfulness we can have a better understanding of our reactions to change and how stillness can help us to understand the emotions and feelings we have around this subject. It’s often sudden changes that make us feel particularly uneasy like loss of a job, losing a loved one, moving house, illness and financial situations becoming worse. These can take us by surprise, no preparation or indeed notice to help in the sudden change.
I have fought most of my life with change but it’s something that happens to us all, no one is exempt from it. Change is happening all the time whether we can notice this or not. Life is ever moving and you need to find a way to flow with the winds of change when they pick up or try to fight against them.
I have started reading this book on change called ‘Who moved my cheese’ by Dr Spencer Johnson. I know it sounds like a kids book and it reads like one too, however, it’s got a very simple story. The tale highlights 4 key characteristics in us all that we find when change is occurring in our life. There are 4 characters 2 mice, and 2 little people trying to find cheese in the maze. It follows their reactions to change through the maze and I easily saw myself through their eyes of change when it happened.
The main point was that if you remain positive about the outcome, however things look at the time, you can overcome and deal with the change in a more effective and confident way. We can often fall into the trap of why me, how has this happened. Then we start to attack ourselves, what did I do wrong, I am no good. All this does is prevent you from looking at ways to move forward as your always referring to the past event and trying to figure it all out.
For me, I have used my mindfulness practice to highlight to me that this situation is not personal, to stop myself falling into a victim thought pattern. I use my stillness for understanding better how I feel and what actions I need to take. This often brings feelings of gratitude and compassion to myself and all that I have already.
I often repeat the phrase ‘all is going to be well even if I have no idea how’. The universe has a funny way of sorting it all out and often for the better when we stop and reflect back after the change has occurred.
I saw this quote ‘sometimes in the wind of change we find our direction’. I couldn’t find who wrote this but it’s a great way to utilise the positive aspect and we will ultimately find our lives in a better state after the change than before. It will often be even better than we could have dreamt of or planned in our minds, and no matter the way it’s happened it could not have been actioned any other way.
I will keep the faith that whatever happens in the next few weeks that it will all work out for the best. I have everything I need and I’m strong in my belief in my ability to stand in the winds and move when I need to or stay and ground myself.
I hope you find this of comfort if you are going through a major life change, please know that you are not on your own. I would love to hear from you on any comments about the blog and what’s happening to you at the moment.